Ahmed was the son of a man who was a small scale retailer working in the cloth industry. And when large-scale businesses began to flourish, his father’s business was seriously threatened. Surprisingly, Ahmed reacted to all this in a strange manner which was to develop a sense of resentment against all established businesses and began to hate the business sector. He had no shop of his own but since following his father’s footsteps was a must, Ahmed became an employee in someone else’s shop.
He used to stay sick a lot while he was a kid. And this had something to do with the lack of attention from his parents’ side. Upon the arrival of younger siblings, Ahmed felt side lined and hence used to stay sick more often. After some time his parents noticed this and again began to shower Ahmed with the sort of attention that his other siblings received.
It was at this age that Ahmed learnt some significant lessons that were to stay with him all his life. These lessons although quite detrimental, were deeply embedded in his mind. The first lesson Ahmed learnt was that to gain attention, one must always have a bad mood and be really sad. This sadness would eventually prompt someone to notice you but although this might have worked as a kid, as an adult one couldn’t live life like this. People generally stay wary of people that are awfully pessimistic and sad. You must have seen people in your family that are perpetually gloomy and are always surrounded by an air of sadness and sicknesses. What’s disconcerting is that they perhaps thrive on this feeling. People like these are in fact afraid of facing the reality and whatever surprises life has to offer. They prefer to stay in the dark about what is expected of them and have a pessimistic attitude towards life.
Happiness and the ability to smile is something that is dependent on the attitude of any person. Even in stressful times, it is up to our own thinking that can help us have a positive outlook. But for Ahmad, such a truth was difficult to come to terms with. Especially so when from an early age he had adopted the practice of being sad in order to get attention. But then again, us humans can change habits and let go of childhood attitudes. And not being able to do that is something that should be avoided. After all, not being able to change ourselves will be somewhat similar to a tree that refuses to flourish despite the season of fall having ended.
Some of us are so used to the idea of living a life of hopelessness that even the most trivial of opposition makes us lose courage. And this very attitude shows a lack of gratitude for the things that we have been granted. Life is an undeserved gift that despite adversities should not be taken for granted. It should be celebrated for the fact that every challenge is an opportunity. A thinking of this sort will be pivotal in helping one live a life of contentment. After realizing this, Ahmad was far more equipped in making good decisions about what to do next even in moments of crisis. After all one must understand that everyone has something in their lives that is a source of concern and worry. So assuming that it’s just us, is a foolish way of living life.
Take a notebook and a pencil and make a list of all those things without which you cannot imagine living and make sure to especially add those elements from your life that bother you too. This, most certainly, would turn out to be a very long list. Furthermore note down some observations about some person that you know and who seems to be content most of the time. Write down about those things that you know that very person suffers through that you cannot imagine suffering through. But be sure to include all details without considering the fact that you are more sensitive or that the other person is far more mentally strong.
Without doubt, there are people who are more sensitive than other people. But one can only call a person sensitive if he feels both joy and sadness far more profoundly than others. And even in moments when you are low on hope, one must remember that there people who are far worse off than you. Focusing on a quote by Bernard Shaw that “Just like you don’t have any right to the money that you have not earned, similarly you don’t have any right to happiness if you don’t give back and create more. “
Famous psychologist Elifer Dydlar would tell his patients that think of something every day that would help someone laugh and feel lighter.
Ahmad soon warmed up to the idea that one must remain calm and content even in moments of hopelessness. But something like this was hard to practice initially which prompted me to remind Ahmad that the wise people from our past used to say that actions must follow words otherwise words are meaningless. And so, Ahmad was able to work on this and eventually he was able to let go of the childhood habits that had shrouded him in melancholy for so long.
